Not some liturgical crime-fighting team, as one might suppose from the title; rather, this dynamic duo are the terms applied to the people who carry the respective objects after which they are named: the thurible and boat.

The term "thurible" comes from the Latin "thus," (rhymes with moose) meaning "incense;" and, as you've no doubt guessed by now, refers to the metal censer, suspended from chains, which is swung to and fro at various points in the liturgy, leaving aromatic clouds of smoke in its midst.

The inner workings of the thurible, though shrouded in misty mystery, are actually quite simple.

Essentially the thurible is a BBQ; except, instead of char-broiling steaks, incense is the main course.

The censer itself contains a small metallic dish into which charcoal bricks are placed.

When the coals are fully-fired, incense is poured on the coals, the scented resin melts, producing clouds of smoke that pour through perforations in its retractable lid.

Now that you know the what and the how, perhaps we should explore the why.

Some (alleged) pundits would tell you that the use of incense began in the early church, when the celebrant of the mass bathed the congregation in this fragrant balm (spelled bomb, for some) - supposedly because they had not bathed themselves!   This explanation is hogwash (no pun intended.)

The true origin of the use of incense in ritual hails back to our Jewish ancestors.   Those who remember the introductory responses for Evensong will recognize this quote from Ps. 141.2: "Let my prayer be in your sight as incense."

Thus, as early as the reign of King David - or perhaps even before - incense was an integral part of worshipping God.

However, Yahweh was not the only deity to be offered incense.   The use of incense in pagan ritual was likewise pervasive.

In fact, in the nascent Christian church, incense was eschewed precisely because it was used in Emperor worship, which the Caesars, of course, encouraged.

Hence, it was not until Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire that the use of incense crept back into popular worship.

However, alas, its frequent usage was not to last.   The winds of change that blew through the Reformation took incense with it, and thuribles all but disappeared with other so called "Popish Artifacts."

However, in the last thirty years or so, the thurible, and the use of incense in general, has experienced something of a revival, due in no small part to liturgical renewal that came out of the Second Vatican Council in the 60's.

Now, those of you, particularly those with respiratory issues, may utter with exasperation "why is incense used, at all?"

It is true that, despite its growing popularity in the last few decades, incense is something of a rarity; while some "smells and bells" parishes have incense at every (sacramental) meal, most churches have incense on the menu, at most infrequently.

Those parishes that seek an "incense-compromise" swing their thuribles only on Principal Feasts and/or Holy days; Christmas, Epiphany, and the Easter Vigil are examples of such times.

In any event, the use of incense is intended to draw attention to the sacredness of those things and people, who reveal the mystery of God's love to us: the Gospel, the Altar, and ourselves, the people of God.

Oh, I missed the boat - so to speak.   Obviously, the celebrant can't carry incense in his/her pocket like so many nickels and dimes.

A receptacle that is appropriately reverent is needed; hence, the boat.

The boat is so called because it looks like one - a boat that is.   This is true, especially of the more ancient thuribles that have survived the ravages of time and (various peoples') temperament.

Personally, all the modern incense boats I have seen look more like facsimiles of Aladdin's lamp, than like a boat.

So for those who mistakenly clutch this object, rubbing vigorously in hopes of revealing a Genie, I'm afraid you are going to end up empty handed; or rather, with only a few grains of incense to show for your efforts.