LITTLE BRAIN DRIVING
Guerrey MacDavid - August 15, 2013

I spend a lot of time in my head.

This has actually been documented.   I participated in a sleep clinic a few years back and they were sure that I was asleep long before I was.   Even when I recounted to them what they'd been talking about while I was supposedly "out" they were sceptical.   So we did another run, with more clinical empircal testing and I nailed it better than one of the people who was testing me.   I was perfectly awake.   But in order to relax each night I slip into one of my universes and daydream.

I'd studied psychology in college so I suggested maybe I was simply entering a transcendental state when I daydreamed.   None of the researchers involved had ever dealt with that before so they immediately began to investigate and then called me back when they had some previously verfied tests.   Sure enough, that's exactly what had been happening.

I'm a very logical person, very creative, I'm in the process of writing 7 books as I do this, and there are no less than 4 whole universes, nearly as real to me as this one, in my brain at any given moment.   I use a bit more of my brain than most because it's always on, this too has been scientifically verified.   I have no intention of donating my brain to science though.   Not because I don't want it ending up in a jar beside Einstein somewhere, that would be cool, but because I don't want it ending up in a Matt Groening Future.   Long story that, I'll tell you one day.

Now, I told you ALL THAT just to tell you this:   There's a price to pay for logic, a price for higher brain activity, a price for sitting at drawing boards, computers, and reading heavy scientific texts in your off-hours, after spending your days summarizing complicated legal briefs, writing contracts, and explaining to Executives why the limits of the law shouldn't be their end game.   The price is this: Every year, as the humidity breaks, as the Indian summer/Fall weather rolls in, and I'm no longer suffering from allergies or humidex - every year, for four to six weeks straight - I'd fuck practically anything.

I've always had this, but when I was younger I wasn't using as much of my brain, simply because my jobs were never that taxing, so I'd spend most of my day at work dreaming and most of my night writing those dreams into stories, scripts, etc.   But even then there was always a part of the year where the most disgusting sexual perversions were moved from the "NO WAY" to the "HMMM" column.

A decade ago a "HOW DO I MAKE THIS HAPPEN...?" column appeared, and the drives got more intense, to the point where I was doing things that even I considered gross, kinky and disgusting every other part of the year.   If i ever try gay sex it'll be during this just to let you know far the bar goes during this time.

Whether it's a hormonal cocktail, the by-product of being cooped up indoors while the city sweats gravy for months, or because for every logical ying there has to be a horny wang to balance it out, I don't know.

And... I'm ARIES, whether you believe horrorscopes or not there's one thing true about ARIES, they don't wait long when they want something.   The other thing is that we're very good at rationalizing bad behaviour.   My preference was to eliminate guilt from my life.   There's no such thing as a walk of shame, because the only shame in life is not living it, so as long as I experienced something that interested me, as long as I satisfied a nerve, craving or desire, as long as my horizon was either broadened or answers were provided, it was all good.

The problem is, I'm also a good person.   I give to charity, I stop my car on snowy days and help people get theirs off snow banks, I drop a buck in a beggars cup, if for no other reason that because I can.   I keep the Social Compact that is supposed to be the foundation of our society.   I call in blown street lights, report potholes, report reckless drivers, because it makes the world safer.   And I cannot leave something well enough alone if I can spare the resources of time, knowledge or even money to make someone else's life even a little bit more pleasant.

But every year I hit this PON FARR and need to shed the cloak of civilization, run naked through the woods howling at the moon and fuck like a wildebeast with a weekend pass.

This year, the girlfriend, whom I call Number 1 for a few reasons I'll get into later, wanted to go to a beach.   Normally I avoid this like the plague, but because the heat of summer broke early, and because cool breezes were washing over Ontario shores in late July which had made a few trips out to Hanlan's Point Nude Beach actually rather pleasant, well, because of all that I made plans to go up to Southampton, Ontario and sit on a beach on the shores of Lake Huron despite my aversion to summer heat, and it turned out to be bright and pleasant with a stiff cool breeze coming off the water like a world-wide Air Conditioner.   But the fact it wasn't muggy unpleasant caused this year's PON FAR to come early, and with a vengeance.